Profiles

YOSHIKI (censored)

Likes: banana splits, cellophane, crawdads, suicide
Dislikes: prostitution, personality, arms, bike shorts, mana
Favorite film: Suicide Club
As the lead of the story, we have many opportunities to get an idea of his personality. However as a person he refuses to leave any impression on the reader and it is unclear exactly what kind of j-rocker Yoshiki is. He has a troubled past, finding his father dead of mysteriously unclear circumstances when he was only five, soon after becoming a child prostitute. He is also plagued with suicidal thoughts after he lost his lover hide seven years ago. Now he looks for meaning in his life, finding nothing and becoming more empty inside every day. He notices himself drawn to Gackt, but feels seven years is too soon to get over hide.

ROLLY (showing his smile)

Likes: glitter, glam, sparkle, wigs, skeletons, plastic surgery
Dislikes: nothing
Favorite film: Suicide Club

Sometimes considered an outcast of the group because of his non-existant popularity, Rolly takes the constant abuse with a smile. He is always chipper and excitable, except when he's not. Sometimes he seems to change personalities, though the megastars fail to notice, due to their indifference toward him. He appears to have an interest in Yoshiki, until he loses his memory after having his head slammed into a fence. Rolly also tends to experience some gender confusion and can often be found wearing old lady's wigs and clothing. He has a mysterious connection to Sugizio. But where do they know each other from?

GACKT (performing arm tricks for his friends)
Likes: knee pads, his magnum, fossils, leather, physical performances, hyde
Dislikes: hockey, furries, bosnia, invertebrates, fingers
Favorite film: Hairspray
Gackt loves to go, and never stops going. All his friends find him amusing and adorable and love his company. Yoshiki especially, who seems to be quite fond of Gackt. Gackt, however, seems to only notice Hyde, his close and personal friend of many years. After leaving Malice Mizer to become a solo artist, he has become burned out, releasing only tacky j-pop garbage. Recently Yoshiki kissed Gackt in order to distract a crazed fangirl, leaving Gackt's head filled with jumbled thoughts of bewilderment.

HYDE (j-rocking to the extreme)

Likes: hyde, fame, sunglasses, being cool, j-rocking it
Dislikes: uncool people, unfamous people/rolly, not-hyde
Favorite film: HYDE: Live in Concert

Hyde is an undeniable j-rocking megasuperstar. He is envied by all his colleagues, particularly Mana, who can't understand why he's so popular, and is always irritated and offended by Hyde's work. Though Gackt has strong feelings for him, Hyde seems to prefer life without Gackt, and is instead more in love with his work/self. Currently working on a new fantastically amazing album, he spends little time with his j-rocking peers, finding it too hard to make the time.

SUGIZO (enjoying nature)

Likes: sunshine, long walks in the park, wildlife
Dislikes: global warming, murderers, people who rape the land
Favorite film: Sound of Music
Acting as the core of the group, the j-rockers always find themselves going to Sugizo for advice and direction. Because of his awesomely successful career they feel comfortable asking him for musical and spiritual guidance. He never fails to aid his friends, and they all hold him dear for that. Even though this is bad fan-fiction, Sugizo doesn't seem to be involved in any homosexual relationships, so far. He is prone to serious bouts of illness, which cause him to disappear from social functions.

SUGIZIO (destroying nature)

Loves: being mean, death, destruction, hate, beatings
Hates: nature, animals, people, love
Favorite film: Faces of Death
A mysterious and malicious figure, no one really knows who Sugizio is, or where he comes from. However, whenever he does make his appearance, he is sure to ridicule and belittle anyone present. Seeming to have little affection for anyone, he always makes it a point to be cruel and impolite. He wears a mask and cape at all times, and no one knows what he looks like underneath this clever disguise. Rolly seems to know more about Sugizio than any of the others, leading them to wonder just how the two know each other.



KÖZI (huh?)
Likes: safaris, cantaloupe, blank, tape
Dislikes: computers, candy wrappers, bikinis, putty
Favorite film: Edward Scissorhands
Rarely saying anything at all, Közi acts as though he has no personality, and, as far as the reader knows, he does not. Not having said a single word throughout the picnic, it makes one wonder if he isn't lying in wait to shout out something that might let us know just who Közi is. Until that happens, however, he remains as silent as ever, keeping his thoughts to himself.

MANA (adjusting his wig)

Likes: torture, obedience, chains, leather, whips
Dislikes: disorganization, hyde, ramen, diapers
Favorite film: House of Pain 7

Mana likes to think of himself as the star of any show. Unwilling to let anyone steal his limelight, he tends to be disapproving of his peers' work. He spends most of his time in his dungeon room, where few people are allowed to enter. As a child he was ruler of the playground and made all the other children his servants. Not much has changed since then, and he is known to always have a slave he pulls along on a chain. Tetsu happens to be his current slave, and has suffered much abuse from him.

HIDE (resting in peace)
Likes: wings, karaoke, pickled onions, being alive
Dislikes: tabloids, compasses, kangaroos, being dead
Favorite film: Angels in the Outfield
Having died of yet unknown events, hide left Yoshiki in a troubled state of depression and desperation. Before his death, he and Yoshiki had had a strong romantic relationship, and perhaps even after. The details of their relationship, however, are presently unknown because there can only be so many flashbacks in one story. While Yoshiki tries to put the pieces of his life back together, hide remains deceased.

TETSU (looking dumb)

Likes: being sat on, lists, bad hair, mana, abuse
Dislikes: bento, music, clean clothes, inner-city children
Favorite film: Win A Date With Tad Hamilton
Always the pathetic individual, Tetsu, is currently serving as Mana's plaything. Ever the follower of the leader, he had no problem settling into Mana's abuse treatment. He makes a halfway ok bench, but prefers to be a chair, which is easier on his back. Currently residing in Mana's house, somewhere underground, Tetsu never leaves home without his collar and chain. This is probably because he would be severely punished if he did. At the time of our story, he is suffering from crippling back pain.

MIYAVI (moping)
Likes: hair dye, piercings, being alone, razors
Dislikes: sunshine, smiling, laughter, sushi
Favorite film: Schindler's List
Always depressing and depressed, Miyavi usually tags along with the megastars. They consider him one of them, but don't talk to him very often because he is so depressing. He was raised by kind parents and went to a respectable private school where he got an expensive education. His parents always supported him, but miyavi continued to be dull and depressing, despite his extremely glorious childhood. He is currently lying face down in the grass for unknown reasons.

MEMBER OF GLAY (thumbs up! chu)

Likes: cool people, pretending to be in a band, air-guitar, writing sad lyrics
Dislikes: being an orphan, bad men who hurt him, rope
Favorite film: The Wedding Singer
Supposedly a member of a band, the Glay member likes to hang out with our j-rocking luminaries. He seems to be present only to choke out annoying lines, and he never misses a chance to praise the stars. Growing up an orphan, he was put into the slave trade at the age of seven and later became a yakuza before (allegedly) breaking into the music scene. The Glay member now claims to write pathetic lyrics for whatever band it is he works in.



ISSAY (401 error)
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Dislikes: ???
Favorite film: ???
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last updated: march 30, 2008