Yoshiki's Picnic - 06, 07



Part six - Gackt Runs


"Kyaaaa!" the Glay member squealed. "Gackt-sama! We are over here!!" And he began to wave his arms about, jumping to his feet and springing up and down, knocking the full Bacardi pitcher over.

"Laaaariiii-ooooh!!" Gackt said, beginning to run toward them from the park's outer limits. It was a sunny day. The group of j-rock megastars had picked a good day to compile on a blanket in Tokyo's biggest park in the country. The warm sun was shining onto them and heating their skin, making them feel slightly warmed by the light. A soft breeze rushed through the air and rustled one or two leaves on the largest tree in the park. It was over seven feet tall and was as thick as a man's arm. Gackt ran passed it, getting smacked in the face by one of its dangerously protruding branches.

"Kya! That really hurt my face!!" Gackt shrieked, putting emphasis on 'slapped' to give the others an idea of his pain. "I just washed my face, too. But it was this morning. Maybe it is not so clean. I wanted to wash it in the afternoon but I was not able to, so I just washed it when I got up. I do not really like to because by the end of the day it needs to be rewashed anyway, but I knew today was special. What would my colleagues think of me if I showed up with a pimply grease face! So I was careful to wash it really well and now I think it is pretty clean, so it is a shame that this branch would hit my face like that when I was running by because now it is probably not as clean and fresh as I had first hoped it to be so will you please excuse me minna you know my face is clean for the most part after all. I will wash it when I get home but what will that count for when I am with my best tomodachi now!" Gackt shouted across the park.

As he continued running toward the picnic-eaters he pulled his magnum out of his pants and began waving it around for the others to see. "Wooo-ee!" He then began to whoop like an ambulance that was rushing to the scene of a massacre. "Whoop! Whup-whup! Wheee yah!" He shouted, brandishing his magnum pretending to fire it's load into the air as he ran.

"Gackt-kun!! Put that away!! What are you thinking!? This park is no place to pull out your magnum!" Sugizo screeched out to him.

"But it is too big for my pants! Every time I put it in my pants it hurts so much when I sit down! I can feel it sticking out at many weird angles and I just like to take it out when I sit!!" He shouted back to Sugizo from across the park while he ran.

"Are, are, Gackt! I will hold it for you when you sit, just put it away for now!" Hyde said, sighing very j-rockerly.

"Hai, Gackt-san, or I will hold it for you!" Yoshiki shouted, not wanting to let HYDE hold something as precious as Gackt-san's magnum. He wanted Gackt to think of him more and wished he could take up this very important task. He knew that would get his attention.

"Wakarimashta, Hide! I will hand it to you when I sit down," Gackt yelled, running now.


Part seven - The Shunt

"Look at who is arriving," someone said. The j-rockers looked up to see Rolly appear from the same gate that Gackt had entered the park from a few minutes ago.

"Oh yeeeeehh!!!" Rolly screamed, jogging over to the group and sitting down on a blanket that was on the grass. "What is going OHWON?!" Rolly asked enthusiastically, laughing loudly and slapping his knees together repeatedly. The others looked at him, most irritated. No one responded to him, and they all quietly waited for Gackt to reach them, who was now halfway across the park.

Yoshiki examined Rolly. He was dressed in a body-hugging jumpsuit that was ripe with sequence and glitter. The sunlight splashed onto his fab outfit and temporarily blinded Yoshiki in his eyes. He instinctively grabbed onto the blanket on which he sat and felt the plaid fibers in it. When he regained his vision, he turned it to Rolly's five inched platform shoes which were just as glittery and sparkling as his suit. Rolly walked in them with such grace as though he had exploded from the womb with them attached to his soles. Yoshiki liked looking at Rolly's feet and looked up his body, not stopping at his head and looking to the sky, then he realized he had missed his face and began to move his eyes back down, settling his vision on Rolly's face. Yoshiki felt a jolt of discomfort singe his body and looked away.

"Sorry I am late. I kept getting stopped by all these fans who just would not leave me be until I autographed something for them and sang a little bit! I could not imagine what to sing for them, so I just said to them "Yosh, yosh, kono yo wa jinsei jigusa-a puz-u-ru" and I think they liked that because I was in a movie once and so of course they would not leave me be after that! So around and around it went and more and more people were gathering and I just did not know if I would be able to make it to my tomodachi in time!"

"Be quiet, Rolly. Everyone knows you do not have any fans. Even if you did, they would not recognize what it is that you have become."

"AAAH? That is not truth! I have a picture of every fan I have encountered! Every picture is in here!" he shouted pervasively, pulling his slender pleather wallet out from his shirt and waving it around in the j-rock superstars faces. A few hundred yen slipped from it, leaving it empty.

While the superstars and Rolly contemplated Rolly's pathetic career and lifestyle, Gackt tripped and fell onto his face while he had been running and his foot had slid into a hole in the unforgiving Tokyo grass, causing him to plant his face among the grass. It however did not grow into a beautiful j-rocking flower, but was lifted from the dirt along with Gackt's body, which he began to again move toward the picnicking megarockstars and Rolly.


2 comments:

Calix said...

O. M. G. HAHAHAHAHA. I really liked this post. [laughs] Gackt and Rolly are my favorites now. Rolly mostly, though. Hahahahahaahaha.

"Laaaariiii-ooooh!!" Gackt said, beginning to run toward them from the park's outer limits.
What the fuck?! Hahahahaha. "Gackt Runs." Nice title. :3

The warm sun was shining onto them and heating their skin, making them feel slightly warmed by the light. A soft breeze rushed through the air and rustled one or two leaves on the largest tree in the park. It was over seven feet tall and was as thick as a man's arm.
That's how I write....... .... ):
And wow, if that's the largest tree in the park, I don't wanna know what the smallest is. Hahhahahahha. Then it smacks Gackt in the face. [laughing] How random...!

"Kya! That really hurt my face!!" Gackt shrieked, putting emphasis on 'slapped' to give the others an idea of his pain.
When'd he say 'slapped'...?! Hahhahahaha! Though I can't really laugh at that because I do it sometimes too. ]:

His whole paragraph cracked me up so much. [laughing] For some reason, I really can imagine Gackt thinking that, if not saying it aloud. Hahahhaha. I wouldn't want his colleagues to think ill of him with a pimply grease face or anything, so I feel his pain! The icing on the cake is: "Gackt shouted across the park." at the end. Hahahahhahahahahahaha.

I just diiiiiiiied at the whole magnum thing. [cracks up] I agree with Sugizo, he really shouldn't be waving that thing around! D: And then he complains that it's too big for his pants and he can't sit down. Ahahhahahahha! I'd say...! I love that Hyde and Yoshiki fight over who gets to HOLD IT. Hahahahaha! SO WRONG. HAHAHAHHA.

"Oh yeeeeehh!!!" Rolly screamed, jogging over to the group and sitting down on a blanket that was on the grass. "What is going OHWON?!" Rolly asked enthusiastically, laughing loudly and slapping his knees together repeatedly.
Why Rolly became my favorite immediately. Hahahahhahahaha! I like that he's wearing his glittery jumpsuit (with 'sequence') and it blinds Yoshiki (in his eyes).

Has everyone come to the picnic then or are there still more j-rock superstars on the way? [laughs]

Rolly walked in them with such grace as though he had exploded from the womb with them attached to his soles.
Nothing can beat that line. Hahahhahahahhaha.

I was laughing so hard at what he said about the autographs for fans and then whoever it was said:
"Be quiet, Rolly. Everyone knows you do not have any fans."
HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA. Oh, that's fucked up. And great. Hahaha.

While the superstars and Rolly contemplated Rolly's pathetic career and lifestyle, Gackt tripped and fell onto his face while he had been running and his foot had slid into a hole in the unforgiving Tokyo grass, causing him to plant his face among the grass. It however did not grow into a beautiful j-rocking flower...
J-Rocking flower?! Ahahahhaha! Where the hell'd you come up with that one? Hahaha. Poooooooor Rolly. [laughs, her turn to do the poor-ing] It's not his fault he's pathetic! Is he gonna dress up as a woman anytime soon?! [laughs] Are they ALL going to dress up as women anytime soon?!?!?! Hahahahaha!

[sighs very j-rockerly] Good post, this one, good post. Hahahaha.

Hani said...

love this one!